Mother Of All Sutras…

Here comes the ultimate epiphany…

While you marveled at the length, breadth, depth, in fact the whole biomechanical engineering of Kama Sutra and wondered on the very Indian ability to detail the alchemy of desire, take this. Kama Sutra is actually a small part of a much larger body of Indian work, a mother of all Sutras which is still under creation and is being revealed even as we speak.

In fact, there are whole lot of diligent servants of Bharat Mata who have taken upon themselves to complete this Sutra and finish the unfinished agenda of last 5000 years within this lifetime itself. Our glorious sanskriti (culture), sabhyata (civilization), parampara (traditions) and darshan (philosophy) are forever indebted to these advanced souls. This blog entry is my little homage to them and the great Sutra…

Kama in Sanskrit means desire which includes every kind of desire. And Kama is good, mind it! (unless, of course, you are influenced by that grand dad of all demagogues, that Shakya Muni Siddhartha Gautam, the Buddha). In fact, Vedas have listed Kama along with Artha (money ) and Dharma (duty ) as a step to Moksha (salvation)

The great Kama Sutra by and large restricts itself to carnal desires. The bigger and all encompassing mother of all Sutras not only covers all the infinite dimensions of desire but also of money (Artha).

Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome on the world stage, right from the womb of the greatest civilization on Earth, the mother of all Sutras – The CORRUPT SUTRA… dhan-te-nan!!

The pyrotechnics, the confetti, the media, the works! … Let the show play up to the occasion… The oomph, the glam, the hype and hoopla…

… As you savoured (awestruck obviously) the great exposition of the principles and nuances of this sutra by the Rajas and Babas and Babus and Netas and Mantris and Santris and Sahukaars and Kalakaars and Vyaparis and Patwaris on the national media in last few weeks and months, I can bet half my pony tail that each one of you would have felt a deep moving urge to belong to such august company, to contribute your two bits...

But alas! You the unqualified, the uninitiated outsider. Take heart. There is enough space and opportunity for all. Nothing is lost. I suggest a simple discipline for next 21 days post which anyone can master of the mesmerizing web of Corrupt Sutra.

Every morning get up early at 9.30 am. Light a good Cuban cigar. Inhale deeply. While exhaling expound one of the four Beej (seed) Mantras of Corrupt Sutra - Om Corruptaye Namah! OR Corrupto Devo Bhava! OR Aham Corrupt Asmi! OR Corrupt Twam Asi! Do it for 30 mts or till the cigar lasts, whichever is later.

Then take a Swarovski crystal glass and fill it with your preferred single malt whisky (suggested at least 50 years vintage, charcoal). Sit comfortably in front of your home theatre system with the latest Bollywood item number playing in HD. Take a lazy sip, rotate it on your tongue for exactly 58 nanoseconds and as you gulp it down chant one of the following Japa Mantras - Dushto Hum! Luchcho Hum! Kapto Hum! Corrupto Hum!! Remember, Japa Mantras have to be repeated again and again, and the more you repeat the better it is for you. At least one cycle of 420 mantras is a must everyday.

Needless to say that with devoted practice, soon these mantras will start resonating in every part of your being… And once that happens, the Chandalini (not to be confused with Kundalini) within you will awaken and unbridled corruption of the highest order will start flowing effortlessly out of you.

… And that day, as Kipling said, “you will be a man, my son! And the whole world will be yours” (or something like that)

Mera Bharat Mahaan!

Jai Hind!

P.S. Just to make my own little contribution to the cause, I am compiling a Corrupto Sahastra Namam… Your help in compiling the revered names will be greatly appreciated. Starting, in no particular order, Harshad Mehta, Win Chaddha, ……….