My Teachers... A Tribute

"We are all like match sticks. We carry our fire within us but only as a possibility. We have to come to the match box surface, to grind ourselves in and bang our heads for the fire to come out. And a true teacher is like that – a match box surface..."

I believe everyone has at least one blessing in his or her life. Mine has been that God brought great teachers into my life. Many of them were formal teachers, yet many were those who presented themselves at various times in my life and taught great, invaluable lessons.

So, I was luckier than most in that aspect. However, I am sure that we can all look back at our lives and will be able to locate that one teacher who had that great impression on us and somewhere shaped who we are. These were the people who gave more and more without expecting anything in return. At least in their relationship with us, they gave out of love and they often gave of themselves. No gratitude expressed is enough for these great men and women, who, neither rich nor famous, will always hold the highest pedestal of reverence in my heart.

They say that human mind cannot distinguish between memory and imagination. To it, an actual experience and an imagined experience are quite the same (which really explains why positive thinking, visualization techniques and many other therapies work!)

As I look back at many of these teachers now after a gap of years and decades, the mind gets muddled in the detail of things. The line between what actually happened and the interpretation of what happened blurs. However, the impressions of what happened, to whatever degree they are accurate (and I should like to believe that they mostly are), are very real and sharp in my mind. And since it’s these impressions, and not necessarily the truth, which has remained with me and shaped my life, I would like to share some of them.

Year 1977-78, Jaipur, me about 11 years and in class 7…

Ms Anuradha Pandit is assigned our class as a young English teacher. Now, we were from that generation of ‘Hindi medium’ middle class people where English was a foreign language, a chore and something which had to be endured and scraped through. But that changed soon with Ms Pandit. Her classes used to be one fun filled riot. She would play pranks with us and occasionally even whistle!... We had a game where all of us had to speak in English and anybody using a Hindi word was fined 10p (the penalty always accrued but never collected). Hers was one class in the whole day everyone looked forward to.

And of course she taught. Taught better than many. But more importantly, she made me interested in a subject for the first time in my life. Before that you studied something because you were told to do so, you wanted to impress your parents and teachers, or whatever. For the first time I studied because I enjoyed doing so.

Personally, what I learnt from her, looking back, is the importance of engagement and fun in teaching. She was the first of the great teachers in my life and a smile comes on my face whenever I think of her and those years.

Year 1981-82, Delhi, me about 14 years and in class 9…

The session had just started. We were sitting in the class waiting for the new History teacher, someone who had come on transfer and had just joined the school.

By class 9th, it was clear that we were the ‘science’ types. There was neither any interest nor motivation to study History and the past experience with the subject was nothing to talk about. I think many kids, even if they were sure shot ‘arts’ cases felt the same and it was one bunch of 45 disinterested, lackadaisical and sleepy children awaiting the new teacher in a sultry July afternoon.

And the teacher walks in. He was one extremely fair, short and rotund guy in mid-thirties whose aspect ratio might have been rather uncommonly exaggerated for a human male. He had a kind face and mischievous eyes.

Plonk! He raised himself and sat on the table, facing us. He looked like someone who loved teaching and belonged, every inch of his girth, in that class at that moment.

And thus spake M Tahir Nayyar…

History is His (Mankind’s) Story and I will tell you the story.

Kitaaben band, copiyaan band… Mein kahaani sunaoonga aur tum sunna… Par kitaab padhte rahna kyonki main test mein sawaal kitaab mein se poochhoonga… Kitaab mein kuchh na samajh mein aaye toh bejhijak poochhna… Lekin ek shart hai… Mujhse ye na poochhna ki Hindustan kab aazad hua… Kyonki ye har kitaab mein likha hai aur ye poochhne ka matlab hai ki tumne kitab nahi padhi… Mujhse ye poochhna ki Hindustan 15 August 1947 ko hi kyon aazad hua, 14 ko kyon nahi aur 16 ko kyo nahi?

Only Tahir sir could have said that. What command over his subject, what love for the kids and what a story-teller?

I can still visualize people standing on the deck throwing cartons and boxes of tea into the sea! That’s how vivid ‘Boston Tea Party’ of 1773 and the whole of American Revolution is in my mind even today.

It was some coincidence that in 1989 when I joined Hindustan Zinc Ltd. at Zawar Mines after my B.Tech. he was the principal of the Central School there. He stayed there for one more year before he was transferred to Dehradoon but during that one year, I had a free access to his house. If I did not go for 2 days, he will call the third. Though his own children were much too small at that time, he loved me as his own…

I recently learnt that he passed away few years back and the world is much the poorer because they hardly make such teachers any more.

June 1991, me 23 years, in first class compartment of Chetak Express coming from Udaipur to Delhi on LTC…

The cabin had four berths. I occupied one of the lower berths and was waiting for the train to depart. It was still half an hour before the train left. The evening breeze was building up and felt good on my tired, sweaty face. Leaning on the window, I lit a cigarette and closed my eyes…

Images. Last few months had been bad. I was feeling suffocated at Zawar Mines. The lead-zinc mining township of Hindustan Zinc Ltd. had a population of about 25000. It was located 8 km off Udaipur Ahmedabad highway, about 45 km from Udaipur. Practically, it was a hilly adivasi area essentially in the middle of nowhere.

The plant was old, the technology nowhere close to what I studied in Engineering, the politics was as petty as it was stifling and the salary? Class I officer grade used to be ‘baees sau se chaar hazaar’. With Rs. 1064/- basic, I used to get less than Rs. 2000/- (after deductions, etc) every month for my life locked into the endless A-B-C shift misery.

The economic crisis was yet to hit India, Dr. Manmohan Singh was hardly a known name and liberalization was a word very few were acquainted with. For someone brought up in Delhi, I just could not see myself spending the next 35 years of my life in this back of beyond.

I had been telling my seniors for some months that I will leave before completing 2 years here. They used to laugh at me telling they felt the same when they initially joined. Now those guys were around for 15 year, married, kids… settled. I had joined HZL on 1st July 1989. This was June 1991. Time was running out…

Yet, what could I do? I had taken some MBA entrance exams but could not get through. The shift duties never really agreed with me and it was physically beyond me to put any decent study hours for the preparation.

Chucking the job that too a government (PSU) job was too much a risk back then for our middle-class (actually lower middle-class if you consider the salary that a government officer – my dad – used to get in those days!) situation and sensibilities.

So, here I was pensive and smoking, leaning on a train window. You can actually put a Dev Anand Hum Dono song as a voice over to that visual – main zindagi ka saath nibhata chala gaya, har fikr ko dhuen mein udata chala gaya… Only the fikr was more adamant in my case!

Two guys entered the coupe. Both in their mid-thirtees.

One was this heavy set giant of a man of about 6 ft 3 or 4 inches. The other was a more normal packaging. The train started. The two gents chatted for some time and then the ‘normal’ guy retired to the upper berth.

I could make out from their conversation (clarified further later by my giant friend) that they were both architects working for Udaipur town planning department and were going to Jaipur for some official work.

Intimacy comes fast when the spirits are high! As soon as it was night, my friend took out a bottle of rum, some cola and namkeen and invited me to join him. The invitation was as earnest as it was tempting. I could not refuse. There was also no reason to…

I do not remember what we talked or how we got down discussing my particular predicament but that’s the topic which consumed most of the evening. Considering my state of mind at the time and the magical effects of rum, it might have been an outpouring!

What I do remember very clearly is my senior friend telling me….. if you think you are not doing justice to the job and the job is not doing justice to you, it is criminal to continue. Leave NOW!... A worthy life may be tough but it is still better than a life of unceasing compromise… Do not imagine it will be easy. Your family and friends may call you a fool, numerable hardships may come but no compromise… For there is nothing nobler or more spectacular than a man living his life on his own terms with courage and conviction… and willing to pay the price…

With these impressions I dozed off. When I got up in the morning he was gone. I don’t even know his name nor I ever went back to enquire about him at Udaipur. But almost as a tribute to him, I reached Delhi and never quite went back to my job. It was 30th June 1991, precisely 2 years from the date of my joining HZL!

The least I can say is that conversation and the subsequent action changed my life forever and continue to shape it today. Though some people close to me would rather have it otherwise!

Thank you sir. Hope to meet you some day…

I hope that some day I will be able to touch a life like that! That would be a fitting tribute to all my teachers... Till then, let's remember them all.

Happy Teacher's Day!!

Arvind, Kiran, Prashant.... RIP

Gambling or ‘jua’ has a great tradition in our country. In fact, our color, cultural texture, politics philosophy and spirituality, all owe a lot to jua… And before you start raising your eyebrows, let me tell you that I am not exaggerating. No sir, not at all!

Imagine Mahabharata without jua? Impossible. No jua, no Mahabharat, no politics, no palace intrigue, not even Bhagwat Gita, damn it!

Without jua, what are we left with? The insipid black and white perfectionism of a Ramayana. How boring would that be? I guarantee if that had been the case, none of the 24X7 spiritainment channels like Aastha, Sanskaar, etc. would be operationally viable even for a day. (No frown, haan. You have accepted infotainment then what is the problem with spiritainment? You even accept Rupa underwear- banian ad between two bhajans!)

Check any of these channels and you will find 90% content revolving around Krishna… What happened to Ram, Shiv, Devi and millions of other Hindu Gods and Goddesses? Simple. None of them have the sex appeal of a Krishna. Krishna is poorna avatar for a reason. Krishna mein love hai, sex hai, romance hai, drama hai, violence hai, humor hai… Krishna is good for TRP. Period.

Anyway, I love jua. I and a group of my cousins always play jua (flash, teen-patti) on Diwali night. What fascinates me about jua is that there is not only an uncertainty about winning and losing but, more importantly, about how much you win or lose. There are times I remember when, for no apparent reason, a hand will swell upto an abnormally huge amount. Maybe someone will get rush of blood and raise stakes, or two persons may cross their egos and none would know when to back-off, or sometimes merely in jest. Whatever the reasons, very difficult to pin point… (And then there are times, like last year, when yours truly got a trail for the first time in his entire life and yet ended up with a measly hand!)

Many times, jua has a mind of its own and before you realize, you are not playing jua but jua is playing you. The game becomes much bigger than what you thought, strategized or planned for and you realize only too late that you played far above your league…

I am sure messer Arvind Kejriwal, Kiran Bedi and Prashant Bhushan are now realizing this simple phenomenon which every kindergarten juari knows.

They planned a campaign, alright. But let them cross their hearts and say that they ever imagined that it will become this big. I mean who would have imagined the stupid and high-handed reaction of the government (much too shocking even for their own low standards) and the kind of rage and outpouring of emotion it brought out in teeming masses (surprising, given the general sense of apathy and indifference which characterizes our society). Who would have imagined such exclusive and free 10 days coverage by an increasingly commercial media? Who would have imagined this kind of political El Nino where a fart in Ralegaon Siddhi would trigger a tornado in Delhi?

Anna Hazare was smuggled out secretly in the night by Medanta Hospital and deposited in his village, still a frail and recuperating man. Apparently, the hospital did not want to risk bad press should something happened to a 74 year old national lolli-pop who was fasting for 12 days and who the whole country was licking up to!

Anna attaining siddhi and back to Ralegaon… TV channels resting their senior anchors and the junior guys trying their best to seize the moment and make historical events out of petty stories… Anna’s crusade brigade against corruption, the awakened upper Hindu educated pre-modern post-liberal middle-class (and of course, Muslims and Christians and dalits and kisans and landless and uneducated and rural poor…) back to their old selfish, unscrupulous, struggling, seething, bribing, smiling, triumphant ways…

All spent. Orgy over!

Now is the time. The seasoned khiladis are back. Never mind the over-confidence and error of judgment in the past. The reality check has just strengthened their resolve. Get the message messer Arvind Kejriwal, Kiran Bedi, Prashant Bhushan and gang?

The notices are just the beginning. Whether they are right or wrong, it does not matter. I think the ‘gali ka kutta’ remark will come back to haunt you, for you got carried away and played far above your league. Guys, you are rogered big time. You will be cornered, hunted and devoured and no one will come to your rescue, for-
1. The media won’t care because you are not half the story Anna was. The old man, modest rural background, the brilliant Gandhi packaging, a capitulating government, etc. was simply too irresistible.
2. The ‘civil society’, the millions who you thought were rallying behind you won’t bother. Your ‘massiahfication’ quotient is too inconsequential… the hand too small to interest anyone even if you have a trail!

Bottomline is that you guys are fu@#$%d.

And you deserve it… For you made the mistake of being stupid… for playing much above your league… for being delusional and feeling people have woken to fight corruption… While all we want is some emotional titillation and some novel partying (on Ramlila ground or elsewhere) without disturbing our convenient cocoons and selfish interests!

Delivering A God... Yet Again!

We Indians are truly ‘Godly’ people. There is, perhaps, no God or religion in the world which does not have a following in this country. In fact it may not be too off the mark to say that you are really not a God worth your name until you have your devotees in this holy land.

Not only have we ‘had’ all kinds of Gods and religions, we are global experts in creating, discovering or inventing Gods out of nowhere. Why, we have even made Gods out of film stars complete with their temples and a loyal set of devotees. And this is not to even mention the dime a dozen Babajis we have each with their own impressive fan following. God, we love this game!

I will not exaggerate if I say that in this country, there is no biz like God biz. It is the opium of the masses. And should you be fortunate enough to get a foothold into this game, boy, you’ve truly made it! When you are there, you would have truly arrived and the whole world will be at you feet. You would then own the universe without really owning anything because you would then own the minds and loyalties of those who own everything!

So, you want to play this God game? Who wouldn’t? It would be good to understand some fundamentals.

About people, your prospective devotees-
a. We are people who harbor tremendous fears and superstitions which will always make us find and defer to a superior power.

b. We are also incredibly selfish and partisan because of which we instinctively recognize the structures of power and align ourselves to them for our greatest benefit.

About God strategies-
a. Coming straight from point one above. Gods must find a fear and then fan it. If it can’t find a fear, it must invent one and instill it. Why do you think all Gods come packaged with their own set of Demons? Krishna came with Kansa, Christ had Romans, Buddha instilled the fear of eternal miseries of Sansara, Gandhi had the British. On the contrary, Mother Teresa had none and so the poor woman had such a tough time even getting canonized, forget her ever being a God!

b. From point two, Gods must have their own religious and cast structures. These are the power hierarchies which will ensure that some people are closer to God than others while perpetuating the belief that God himself is equally close to everyone! The advantage of this system is that it will keep everybody engaged and yet provide motivations for everyone to strive harder and try to get closer to God.

My friend, if you understand these little things, you have a great opportunity to play this God game and to even excel in it. Look at the benefits – all the power, all privileges (material or otherwise), and great for self esteem because you get the right to be right all the time… Lesser people settle for far less. But you, my friend, must gun for all, for all is yours for the taking if you abide by these simple principles.

Only one small hitch here… Gods divide the world. Period. If nothing, they divide the world into God and Demon. It is an endless debate whether God came because there was a Demon or vice versa, but the fact remains that both sustain each other and none can survive alone.

Gods divide the world… More the Gods, more the division. Which, perhaps might explain why we in India are so divided… After all we have biggest population of Gods in this country, 33 Crores contributed by Hinduism alone. What it also means is that we might have the highest per capita consumption of Gods in this country by a huge margin, and Demons by corollary – maybe that is the reason we can happily live with status quo for ever!

Anyways, what’s amusing is that, even as I write this, a God is being created in this country (If you have any doubts, look for the Demon. If the Demon is clearly visible, the God is obviously around)

Now, whether this God will divide us further remains to be seen. If he does, he surely is God. If he doesn’t, good for us!

Many Mutinies To Freedom...

Happy 15th of August to all fellow Indians.

While we celebrate and commemorate the many freedoms that we enjoy in our country, I have been also aware of the many areas where freedom has eluded us so far. Freedom from poverty, from racial biases, from social inequality, from religious dogmas and last but not the least, freedom from corruption and moral degradation.

Since the air these days is thick with Annaji’s movement (in a manner of speaking, though it captures a larger public sentiment), Lokpal and fight against corruption, I could not but reflect on the idea of freedom in this context.

… And the more I reflected, the more I got mixed up. At least initially, till I tried to look at my own confusions, passions, biases and motivations with complete honesty even if within the limitations of my own understanding.

Let me share how I see things today, and (departing from the tradition of this blog for this once) with all the objectivity and optimism at my command, suggest what I feel is the best way forward. Here I go with my version of truth…

I am against corruption.

I am against govt Lokpal Bill. I have been (hopefully) extensively informed on govt Lokpal by Anna Team and the many debates on the subject and so I am in a position to make up my mind.

However, I am unsure of Jan Lokpal Bill because there have been hardly any debates as to how it may or maynot contribute to reduction / eradication of corruption. Currently, I feel inadequate to take any stand on Jan Lokpal Bill. Unless, of course, I buy into the logic that any alternative to a bad govt Lokpal will automatically become a good Lokpal…

So, I conclude that it might be possible that fight against corruption ≠ fight for Jan Lokpal Bill.

I am with Anna Hazare.

I am with Anna Hazare on his fight against corruption.

I am with Anna Hazare on his stand that people need to stand up in fight against corruption.

I am with Anna Hazare and the people on their constitutional right to protest whichever way they want to do it provided it is non-destructive (to public property and interest) and non-violent.

So, I support all kinds of non-violent public action, including Anshan, Fast, Dharna, etc. in the fight for corruption but feel nothing if all this is only about Jan Lokpal Bill.

I am against the govt in the churlish, childish and often deceitful way in which it responds to Team Anna. It is definitely not becoming of a democratic Indian tradition we can be proud of.

However, I agree that whatever it is, supposed incompetence or questionable motivations, the govt does have the constitutional right and people’s mandate at this point in time to introduce its version of bill in the parliament. Having done so, the Anna movement pushing Jan Lokpal draft as it stands today is not against the govt but rather against the parliament.

So, I think pushing Jan Lokpal the way it is being done is a blackmail and undermines the institution of parliament.

Where does that leave me? Not in a very comfortable position, I must say. Cornered thus, I did the only three things which came to me – (1) I dwelled into the life and teachings of Gandhiji for inspiration and, possibly some insight, (2) I listened. I listened to all the diverse opinions that I could get on the subject, trying very hard to appreciate all and rejecting none, and (3) I tried to use my own free thinking for whatever it is worth.

Given above, even at the risk of speaking out of turn, let me suggest-

1. Annaji has captured the imagination of the country and rallied people against corruption. Use this opportunity to have a national debate across civil society sections and build an informed consensus on the Jan Lokpal draft. There are, currently, many good intentioned and learned objections to Jan Lokpal draft from many sections of civil society itself which need to be incorporated. This needs to be a civil society initiative and must be accomplished in a time bound manner…

2. Fasts as a tool have been used by many across the world to pressurize the ‘other party’. Gandhiji’s fasts were fundamentally different and unique because they were intended to influence (even pressurize) his ‘own people’, those he represented. He insisted that people must take moral responsibility for their own action before they earned a right to agitate against others. To Gandhiji, perhaps, ‘satya’ in ‘satyagraha’ came before ‘agraha’. I hope that Annaji, being a Gandhian should lead a movement (even fast for it) to ensure that more and more people of civil society across the country make a personal commitment to shun corruption in day-to-day life even if it meant making personal sacrifices and taking personal risks… In true Gandhian way, this will give the movement the power and resolve to move whatever mountains need to be moved in the fight for corruption.

I somehow believe that Gandhiji can be still relevant today and am convinced that if we do above two for next 6 months, not only a much better Lokpal Bill will be foregone conclusion but a much needed and bigger individual, social, political and constitutional transformation might be set to move.

I strongly feel that not only for our own sake, but given the position India holds today in the economic and geo-political equations of the world, we can once again provide insights and models for the world to follow.

Its once again time to redeem a pledge and make a tryst with destiny afresh.

Jai Hind!

AARAKSHAN... Dicks & I

I would like to see AARAKSHAN but have not seen it yet for obvious reasons. But that is no reason for me not to critique, lampoon and reject the film. Here is what I think…

The film has been banned in many states (even after the censor board found nothing objectionable in it) by people who, in all likelihood, have not even seen it… But here is the bigger point and why I feel that the film should be banned in rest of India as well… And why it may not be even necessary to see the film to come to that verdict.

However, before that I need to share something very important… And that is the profound philosophy of my very learned friend and guru from my college days who told me once that there are fundamentally only two human archetypes – the dicks and the balls. The dicks always want to be on top, no matter what. It is their birthright to boss over the balls and dicks are pretty aware of that.

The balls, on the other hand, irrespective of the fact how big and mighty they might be, will forever search for a dick (howsoever little, ugly or otherwise despicable) to hang under. The swabhava (nature) of the ball is to be in awe of the dick. It naturally will follow everything the dick says and can never have the temerity of questioning back.

… And guruji then went on to proclaim (and I shall never ever question that being a ball myself) that the teeming majority of Indian masses, rich or poor, educated or illiterate, urban or rural are actually balls. (which perfectly explains why a miniscule number - exactly 545 - of syphilitic dicks can rule over us)

… So, we have always been a country of balls and forever will be. Nothing has really changed from 1991 when the reservation bill was passed, to 2011. Never mind the cataclysmic changes the world has gone through in last 20 years, the way India has changed and grown, how internet and mobile has made people more aware and world a smaller place… But we still see ourselves through the eyes of the dicks.

… And as far as dicks are concerned, they see it this way – it is still fair and reasonable to assume that our people are idiots who can’t tell their heads from their asses and therefore, subjecting them to the onslaught of something like of AARAKSHAN will automatically create a civil war in this country much bigger than 100 Anna Hazares can ever stoke.

… Now, if the dicks see it this way, we the balls will also have to see it this way only. So, imagine what might happen if AARAKSHAN is released? A few dicks will (for their own worthy interests) ignite and excite the huge group of us balls and we will be more than happy to screw all and sundry…

… Finally, since all this is really about our character rather than the subject of the film, how does it matter if one has seen the film or not? AARAKSHAN should be banned, nevertheless. Period.

P.S. Imagine the glorious sight that is India with few cancerous dicks and a large number of multi-coloured balls? Right to Education plays a very important role in maintaining this glory. Afterall, education is how you develop balls... (that's why dicks don't need no education, and good for that!)