Delivering A God... Yet Again!

We Indians are truly ‘Godly’ people. There is, perhaps, no God or religion in the world which does not have a following in this country. In fact it may not be too off the mark to say that you are really not a God worth your name until you have your devotees in this holy land.

Not only have we ‘had’ all kinds of Gods and religions, we are global experts in creating, discovering or inventing Gods out of nowhere. Why, we have even made Gods out of film stars complete with their temples and a loyal set of devotees. And this is not to even mention the dime a dozen Babajis we have each with their own impressive fan following. God, we love this game!

I will not exaggerate if I say that in this country, there is no biz like God biz. It is the opium of the masses. And should you be fortunate enough to get a foothold into this game, boy, you’ve truly made it! When you are there, you would have truly arrived and the whole world will be at you feet. You would then own the universe without really owning anything because you would then own the minds and loyalties of those who own everything!

So, you want to play this God game? Who wouldn’t? It would be good to understand some fundamentals.

About people, your prospective devotees-
a. We are people who harbor tremendous fears and superstitions which will always make us find and defer to a superior power.

b. We are also incredibly selfish and partisan because of which we instinctively recognize the structures of power and align ourselves to them for our greatest benefit.

About God strategies-
a. Coming straight from point one above. Gods must find a fear and then fan it. If it can’t find a fear, it must invent one and instill it. Why do you think all Gods come packaged with their own set of Demons? Krishna came with Kansa, Christ had Romans, Buddha instilled the fear of eternal miseries of Sansara, Gandhi had the British. On the contrary, Mother Teresa had none and so the poor woman had such a tough time even getting canonized, forget her ever being a God!

b. From point two, Gods must have their own religious and cast structures. These are the power hierarchies which will ensure that some people are closer to God than others while perpetuating the belief that God himself is equally close to everyone! The advantage of this system is that it will keep everybody engaged and yet provide motivations for everyone to strive harder and try to get closer to God.

My friend, if you understand these little things, you have a great opportunity to play this God game and to even excel in it. Look at the benefits – all the power, all privileges (material or otherwise), and great for self esteem because you get the right to be right all the time… Lesser people settle for far less. But you, my friend, must gun for all, for all is yours for the taking if you abide by these simple principles.

Only one small hitch here… Gods divide the world. Period. If nothing, they divide the world into God and Demon. It is an endless debate whether God came because there was a Demon or vice versa, but the fact remains that both sustain each other and none can survive alone.

Gods divide the world… More the Gods, more the division. Which, perhaps might explain why we in India are so divided… After all we have biggest population of Gods in this country, 33 Crores contributed by Hinduism alone. What it also means is that we might have the highest per capita consumption of Gods in this country by a huge margin, and Demons by corollary – maybe that is the reason we can happily live with status quo for ever!

Anyways, what’s amusing is that, even as I write this, a God is being created in this country (If you have any doubts, look for the Demon. If the Demon is clearly visible, the God is obviously around)

Now, whether this God will divide us further remains to be seen. If he does, he surely is God. If he doesn’t, good for us!

Many Mutinies To Freedom...

Happy 15th of August to all fellow Indians.

While we celebrate and commemorate the many freedoms that we enjoy in our country, I have been also aware of the many areas where freedom has eluded us so far. Freedom from poverty, from racial biases, from social inequality, from religious dogmas and last but not the least, freedom from corruption and moral degradation.

Since the air these days is thick with Annaji’s movement (in a manner of speaking, though it captures a larger public sentiment), Lokpal and fight against corruption, I could not but reflect on the idea of freedom in this context.

… And the more I reflected, the more I got mixed up. At least initially, till I tried to look at my own confusions, passions, biases and motivations with complete honesty even if within the limitations of my own understanding.

Let me share how I see things today, and (departing from the tradition of this blog for this once) with all the objectivity and optimism at my command, suggest what I feel is the best way forward. Here I go with my version of truth…

I am against corruption.

I am against govt Lokpal Bill. I have been (hopefully) extensively informed on govt Lokpal by Anna Team and the many debates on the subject and so I am in a position to make up my mind.

However, I am unsure of Jan Lokpal Bill because there have been hardly any debates as to how it may or maynot contribute to reduction / eradication of corruption. Currently, I feel inadequate to take any stand on Jan Lokpal Bill. Unless, of course, I buy into the logic that any alternative to a bad govt Lokpal will automatically become a good Lokpal…

So, I conclude that it might be possible that fight against corruption ≠ fight for Jan Lokpal Bill.

I am with Anna Hazare.

I am with Anna Hazare on his fight against corruption.

I am with Anna Hazare on his stand that people need to stand up in fight against corruption.

I am with Anna Hazare and the people on their constitutional right to protest whichever way they want to do it provided it is non-destructive (to public property and interest) and non-violent.

So, I support all kinds of non-violent public action, including Anshan, Fast, Dharna, etc. in the fight for corruption but feel nothing if all this is only about Jan Lokpal Bill.

I am against the govt in the churlish, childish and often deceitful way in which it responds to Team Anna. It is definitely not becoming of a democratic Indian tradition we can be proud of.

However, I agree that whatever it is, supposed incompetence or questionable motivations, the govt does have the constitutional right and people’s mandate at this point in time to introduce its version of bill in the parliament. Having done so, the Anna movement pushing Jan Lokpal draft as it stands today is not against the govt but rather against the parliament.

So, I think pushing Jan Lokpal the way it is being done is a blackmail and undermines the institution of parliament.

Where does that leave me? Not in a very comfortable position, I must say. Cornered thus, I did the only three things which came to me – (1) I dwelled into the life and teachings of Gandhiji for inspiration and, possibly some insight, (2) I listened. I listened to all the diverse opinions that I could get on the subject, trying very hard to appreciate all and rejecting none, and (3) I tried to use my own free thinking for whatever it is worth.

Given above, even at the risk of speaking out of turn, let me suggest-

1. Annaji has captured the imagination of the country and rallied people against corruption. Use this opportunity to have a national debate across civil society sections and build an informed consensus on the Jan Lokpal draft. There are, currently, many good intentioned and learned objections to Jan Lokpal draft from many sections of civil society itself which need to be incorporated. This needs to be a civil society initiative and must be accomplished in a time bound manner…

2. Fasts as a tool have been used by many across the world to pressurize the ‘other party’. Gandhiji’s fasts were fundamentally different and unique because they were intended to influence (even pressurize) his ‘own people’, those he represented. He insisted that people must take moral responsibility for their own action before they earned a right to agitate against others. To Gandhiji, perhaps, ‘satya’ in ‘satyagraha’ came before ‘agraha’. I hope that Annaji, being a Gandhian should lead a movement (even fast for it) to ensure that more and more people of civil society across the country make a personal commitment to shun corruption in day-to-day life even if it meant making personal sacrifices and taking personal risks… In true Gandhian way, this will give the movement the power and resolve to move whatever mountains need to be moved in the fight for corruption.

I somehow believe that Gandhiji can be still relevant today and am convinced that if we do above two for next 6 months, not only a much better Lokpal Bill will be foregone conclusion but a much needed and bigger individual, social, political and constitutional transformation might be set to move.

I strongly feel that not only for our own sake, but given the position India holds today in the economic and geo-political equations of the world, we can once again provide insights and models for the world to follow.

Its once again time to redeem a pledge and make a tryst with destiny afresh.

Jai Hind!

AARAKSHAN... Dicks & I

I would like to see AARAKSHAN but have not seen it yet for obvious reasons. But that is no reason for me not to critique, lampoon and reject the film. Here is what I think…

The film has been banned in many states (even after the censor board found nothing objectionable in it) by people who, in all likelihood, have not even seen it… But here is the bigger point and why I feel that the film should be banned in rest of India as well… And why it may not be even necessary to see the film to come to that verdict.

However, before that I need to share something very important… And that is the profound philosophy of my very learned friend and guru from my college days who told me once that there are fundamentally only two human archetypes – the dicks and the balls. The dicks always want to be on top, no matter what. It is their birthright to boss over the balls and dicks are pretty aware of that.

The balls, on the other hand, irrespective of the fact how big and mighty they might be, will forever search for a dick (howsoever little, ugly or otherwise despicable) to hang under. The swabhava (nature) of the ball is to be in awe of the dick. It naturally will follow everything the dick says and can never have the temerity of questioning back.

… And guruji then went on to proclaim (and I shall never ever question that being a ball myself) that the teeming majority of Indian masses, rich or poor, educated or illiterate, urban or rural are actually balls. (which perfectly explains why a miniscule number - exactly 545 - of syphilitic dicks can rule over us)

… So, we have always been a country of balls and forever will be. Nothing has really changed from 1991 when the reservation bill was passed, to 2011. Never mind the cataclysmic changes the world has gone through in last 20 years, the way India has changed and grown, how internet and mobile has made people more aware and world a smaller place… But we still see ourselves through the eyes of the dicks.

… And as far as dicks are concerned, they see it this way – it is still fair and reasonable to assume that our people are idiots who can’t tell their heads from their asses and therefore, subjecting them to the onslaught of something like of AARAKSHAN will automatically create a civil war in this country much bigger than 100 Anna Hazares can ever stoke.

… Now, if the dicks see it this way, we the balls will also have to see it this way only. So, imagine what might happen if AARAKSHAN is released? A few dicks will (for their own worthy interests) ignite and excite the huge group of us balls and we will be more than happy to screw all and sundry…

… Finally, since all this is really about our character rather than the subject of the film, how does it matter if one has seen the film or not? AARAKSHAN should be banned, nevertheless. Period.

P.S. Imagine the glorious sight that is India with few cancerous dicks and a large number of multi-coloured balls? Right to Education plays a very important role in maintaining this glory. Afterall, education is how you develop balls... (that's why dicks don't need no education, and good for that!)

Pied Pipers Of Hindustan...

Anna Hazare’s non political party has clearly assumed a huge non sanctioned power through their powerful non manifesto focused at a non governmental piece of legislation… Their non constitutional participation in the non governance of India is a non issue for most people…

But largely speaking, this may not be an Indian phenomenon alone. It seems increasingly the world over non state players are wresting more and more power and public support and the idea of state is increasingly looking quite, well, nonsensical…

I think that the power equations are definitely shifting and a clear proof of that is two most powerful people in India today – Anna and Sonia – are both non state players… (sort of!)

I have a theory on why this is happening and since I am such an authority on the subject of theories, you may take my word to be the gospel… Now, obviously, the state is bad and those who represent the state are rogues and charlatans (almost euphemistic epithets given the experience of CWG, 2G, Mining scam, etc.) to say the least. It is therefore, a very sound reasoning to believe that anything non state or anti state is not only good but it is good in direct proportion to how bad the state is.

So Anna is good. Period… As much as Sonia was good after last Loksabha elections when she played that master stroke and made MMS the PM...

And so are Naxalites who also being non state players and working on (allegedly) the voice of people they represent should come out openly in support of Anna… After all, their anguish is even bigger. While Anna stops at corruption, Naxals go beyond to include exploitation, oppression and a clear pogrom driven persecution amounting to annihilation…

By the way, where is Binayak Sen or Arundhati Roy or Medha Patkar or Menaka Gandhi or Teesta Setalvaad or … Oh forget it… Some people have such parochial mindsets…

Anyhow, since I support Anna and hence am a non state player myself, I am automatically good and my above arguments will but naturally meet your approval. After all, my being a non state player at a time when being so is so hot and sexy naturally assumes that your own free thinking mind and discretion can easily be set aside and preserved for something far more important and exotic in future… (whenever that happens)

Thanks for your support for Anna and to me…

The state is dead, long live the state…

Angrezon Bharat choro...

Mahatma Gandhi ki jai...

P.S. Please do not watch Prakash Jha's AARAKSHAN. They say it unnecessarily pushes you to think which is such a waste. Its much easier when some well meaning leader (state or non state) tells you what to think...

Corruption, Erection and ... No Eruption

Ok… Facts are boring like marriages. Period! Fiction is juicy, mouth-watering and sexy like instant affairs in a two days college festival . So, in the true spirit of this blog, let’s get some of those facts out of the equation…

Fact 1 : Anna Hazare is a social activist and a disruptive force for last many years.

Fact 2 : Anna Hazare is above scrutiny as far as personal integrity goes, especially in issues of material benefits. The guy is a pauper, for God’s sake!

Fact 3 : The creamy layer in India (5-20% depending on how big an optimist you are) has been increasingly frustrated by gross mis-governance in last few years because finally, the forest fires have reached their manicured backyards (backsides).

Fact 4 : The Jan Lokpal Bill andolan has given a great opportunity for people to vent out their bottled anger against governance which they feel is shoddy, incompetent and corrupt.

Fact 5 : ‘India Against Corruption’ is a just and incredibly sexy cause. (perhaps the biggest line since ‘ye dil maange more’, but that’s just a speculation!)

Fact 6 : The politicos are a confused, scared lot without any clue on how to manage public sentiment at the moment.

Fact 7 : Hmmm… Shit, what was that? … Oh, forget it…

Ok guys… facts aside, now we can truly play! Take a full flight of fancy… Imagination is not limited by space or time, and that it can be made as colorful as we want often as an escape from the miserable, monochrome lives that many of us lead. The great part is each one of us can choose our own muse… Following are some airy-fairy castles I want to live in and believe...

… that Jan Lokpal Bill (JLB) will usher Ram Rajya in this country which is a great thing if you are not a Sita sympathizer and a feminist!

… that fear of punitive action will be a huge deterrent for willful misdoings by public servants but will not effect the motivation to take meaningful, well intended, courageous decisions. It’s really no problem if we only choose to punish and not reward. (Awards galore for businessmen, film stars, sportsmen, artists, scientists but award for good administration, for IAS officers… How dumb is that?)

… that Lokayukta Hegde in Karnataka has sealed the case beyond doubt on the success of the JLB principles (though Hegde sab has actually acted under the severe limitations of the old Lokpal structure). Yeddyji is well and truly buried in a political graveyard, Reddys are going back to their middle-class pre-mining days despicable existence and all the swindled money is coming back to the national exchequer…

… that PMji and higher judiciary being included or not included in the JLB will make a huge difference to the day to day corruption that you and I face everyday. It will somehow save the Rs. 500 bribe that I pay (not my fault, obviously) to the policewalla just to stop him from being a nuisance, which incidentally, might be his assured fundamental right in this country.

… that the LPB will first make tons of corruption money available to be used for the welfare of people (more likely, the welfare of 5-20% ‘us’ people) and then create the systems, structures and motivations for these developments to actually happen.

… that while powerful politicos and babus have raped, plundered and abused their power, the immensely powerful Sriman Jan Lokpal Saheb will have a different DNA strain (perhaps a mutated cross-gene between Jesus Christ and Mother Teresa) which will be easily cloned in the genetic lab of renewed public expectations.

... that the corrupt netas, babus and judiciary work in isolated silos totally cut and secured from the civil society, the business society and the well meaning, poor and forever toiling NGOs. That the poor 'we' suckers have been screwed by 'them' for far too long for no fault of ours and it would be great to give it back for once...

… that once we get our JLB, we can then go back to being emotional, gullible fools who have forever pawned their free thinking minds and will to rhetoric and jingoism of the powers that be. It is so convenient to quickly retreat to our cushy comfortable lives making more money and buying more toys than to take responsibility and carry the burden of free thinking...

… that fishes can fly and wishes are horses, and God is great and all is well.

Anna tum sangharsh karo, hum tumhare saath hain...

Good night and sweet dreams!

P.S. Aaram badi cheez hai munh dhak ke soiye, kis kis ko yaad keejiye kis kis ko royiye?